How to Not be Obnoxious in Coffee Shops as a Digital Whatever
...yeah you probably want to see that GIF again.
And as friendly as these people might seem, it's this reckless behavior that makes baristas and baristos around the world despise us gringos.
Traveling is fun. Working from your laptop is sweet. Even meeting new people doesn't suck as much.
But Ay Dios Mio guys there are some things that we do in coffee shops that are just... just terrible.
Let's discuss some of those things. Note that all of these things were witnessed in the same session.
For all of you digital mcgnomers, take special note cuz I guarantee you do these things. I'm sure I do too.
What not to do:
Talk loudly about your IG stories.
Never use the word "bad-ass", use landing page if you dare, and never ask how to say basic things like delicious and thank you and how are you. If you're traveling, learn at least SOMETHING before you arrive. Otherwise use Google Translate and be quiet.
Stop talking so fucking loud.
Use the word 'subscribe' a maximum of one time.
Talk about where you are and nice it is to be there, not all the things you did back in the States or wherever the fuck and why you prefer life there.
Don't pull 9 chairs around a table.
Don't have a 9 person meeting. And if you do, do it some place that is not the exact middle of the entire establishment.
No one there likes you at all. No one. (Not a tip but just a friendly reminder)
Stop saying "fucking" so loud. Everyone understands that word and you sound ignint.
Don't wear tight white jeans and flip flops.
Lower your voice again by 2 more octaves.
Don't show/edit/talk about your Tinder matches in public.
Stop talking about how sketch your hostel is. They're hostels. They're supposed to be sketch.